This is what I made Andrew for Valentine's Day... I hope he likes it....

I love Andrews eyelashes. I've collected 24 so far...

Valentines Day is coming up. Andrew still doesn't see me for me yet, so I think this Sunday, I will wear all black, sit on my hand till it is numb, and imagine Andrew is doing the rest.....

Andrew is the only person on earth mighty enough to trim Chuck Norris' beard....

5 Course Meal

I once asked Marvin, to make me dinner. Not only did he prepare a five course meal, with all the trimmings, he set the table with the finest China. China he carved himself by hand from granite. Also, Marvin has never cooked anything in his life, but it was the best meal I have and ever will have eaten.

If Heinz put Andrew Marvin's picture on the packet, they would not be trying to launch a new improved packet now. Such is the power of Andrew, that problem would have worked itself out...

How do I view Andrew from afar? And what am I thinking as I gaze upon him? I think the immortal Eric Carmen summed it up best with this classic, and underrated song from the 80's....



I've been meaning to tell you
I've got this feelin that won't subside
I look at you and I fantasize
You're mine tonight
Now I've got you in my sights

With these hungry eyes
One look at you and I can't disguise
I've got hungry eyes
I feel the magic between you and I

I want to hold you so hear me out
I want to show you what love's all about
Darlin tonight
Now I've got you in my sights

Now I've got you in my sights
With these hungry eyes
Now did I take you by surprise
I need you to see
That you were meant for me


over and over and over again!!!!

This isn't very surprising to anyone who knows me I suppose. For half a second I thought maybe I'd be air or water, ha! I wished I were earth...like that's going to happen, I think I have like one earth sign in my whole chart.

Enough with the hocus pocus. On to my poem to Andrew. Hope I have the nerve to send it to him.

Feelings like mud. Wind swept hair. Grains of crying. Do you ever wonder why you are not moving? Do this for yourself, just blow through whatever it is that is sitting there. Teases from branches. Slices of toad.
Do you feel the spirit Yeti inside you. Would that you could even care.

If just the name of the was changed after Leno retired from "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien" to "The Tonight Show with Andrew Marvin", I wouldn't have to worry about whether or not I will wake up one day and see that Max Weinberg contracted AIDS by blowing hobo's to fight off his depression from being unemployed. They never would have canceled the Marvin show..... Damn you NBC!

Andrews' roguish good looks killed Brittany Murphy.

I thought of a perfect song to sum up Andrew...

Night man
sneaky and mean
spider inside my dreams
I think I love you
you make me want to
cry
you make me want to die
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
night man
Every night you come into my room and bend me down
and you put your strong arms
and pin me down
and I try to fight you
and you come inside me
and fill me up

It’s just two men sharing the night
it might seem wrong but it’s just right.

It’s just two sharing each other
It’s just two men like lovin brothers

one on top and one on bottom
one inside and one is out

one is screaming he’s so happy
and the other’s screaming a passionate shout

it’s night man
feeling so wrong and right man
feeling so wrong and right man
I can’t fight you
and when you come inside me and bend me down with your strong hands
and I become the niiiight….
the passionate, passionate night man

One day I saw Andrew sneeze. Three days later, the people of New Orleans called that sneeze Katrina.

Can any one man be this great?

As I stood there talking with Andrew this afternoon, I was smacked in the face like I had just run into a brick wall..... If John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, Keith Moon, and John Paul Jones ever decided to start a band, that band name would be "Andrew Marvin". You can see it up there in lights, just as clear as "Dirk Diggler" in Boogie Nights.